Dear Lord...

You can restore ANYTHING….even when I doubt…even when I question how…even when I try to bypass you and do it on my own…even when I decide it can’t be done…even when I wonder how you can…even when I refuse to believe…even when I quit and walk away…You CAN still do it!!!!!!!! You are capable…you make all things possible…your plans and ways are perfect…you know what I need…you can make it brand new…you are victorious…you love me more than I can understand…you aren’t worried about the enemy. You know what has broken my heart…you know what causes my tears…you know my desires…you want me to be happy…you know what my future holds. Trusting you is sometimes hard…I know you are all I need, but living that is difficult…there are days in my human weakness that I desire more than you. I must lay it at your feet….I must pick up your promises, your protection and your love…I must walk away believing that it’s worth it….whatever IT is. I know Satan has been victorious so many times in my life…I live with the consequences of his victories everyday. That doesn’t mean I’m not forgiven…or restored. But life is REAL…the good and the bad…God and Satan…truth and sin. For me, one is past and one is now…but I remember because I never want to forget. That WAS MY life….my path…it has helped to shape my today. I ask BIG and pray BIG because I believe my God is BIG…bigger than anything in this world. He might say no, but I can live with that…I want no more regrets in my life…they are much harder to live with than no.

I’m asking BIG!!!!!….HUGE….ENORMOUS…but I think it only looks that way to me…God isn’t worried.